and he’s like HEY CHINESE SATAN
WHAT’S THIS ABOUT?
and chines satan is like uh
uh
lemme check the book that says when everyone is gonna die
oh look it says you’re gonna live to be like three hundred and-
FUCK THAT, says the monkey king and he walks over to the book and he’s like lemme just fix that real quick and just straight crosses his name out and then crosses out the names of all his monkey pals and then he goes back to earth and his monkeys are like yo dude where you been and he’s like oh nowhere just CUTTIN’ THROUGH THE RED TAPE OF HELL LIKE MAYOR MCBADASS AT THE RIBBON-CUTTING FOR AWESOME ISLAND WIELDING THOSE GIANT NOVELTY SCISSORS LIKE A GUILLOTINE OF JUSTICE
