A virtual hoard of the shiny things I find on the internet.
Catching Elephant is a theme by Andy Taylor
So I went to my doctor recently to treat a (minor and not at all life-threatening) condition that I have. In the course of our discussions about my overall health and suchlike, we agreed that she would order a bunch of bloodwork that I’ve never had just to establish it on my medical record and rule out any obvious, easy-to-fix problems.
It was a LOT of tests. I think the phlebotomist lined up like 12 vials on the table before tapping my vein.
So now, because we have Kaiser Permanente and they’re big into the electronic health record, I get alerts every time one of the tests comes back. They’ve been trickling all day, and it’s always like some really unsurprising surprise package delivered by a 5 year old.
“Guess what?”
“What is it, Kaiser?”
“No syphilis antibodies. You don’t have syphilis!”
“You interrupted me for that? I told you I don’t have syphilis.”
“But now we’re SURE!!!”
Then I get:
“Guess what?”
“What is it NOW, Kaiser?”
“You’ve got varicella zoster antibodies!”
“What?! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?”
“Chicken pox immunity! Isn’t that great?!”
“…”
