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It almost goes without saying that, as a Pittsburgher, I believe only in One True Ketchup. Despite all my locavore, cooking-from-scratch efforts, the only ketchup I eat is Heinz (I just eat less of it).

But here’s what bugged me about this article: By the end of it, there’s all this comparison of the crappy house-made ketchups to “Heinz 57.”

Pay attention, foodies: Heinz 57 is a steak sauce. Yes, it’s more LIKE ketchup than, say, A-1, and its marketing slogan is even “ketchup with a kick,” but it’s a steak sauce, and should not be used as the model for something for people to dip their fries into. Heinz Ketchup is not spicy, more sweet, and even the America’s Test Kitchen people have found through extensive taste-testing that when people want ketchup, Heinz Ketchup is the platonic ideal they’re all judging against.

Make all the house-made dipping condiments you want, but they’ll be a lot more successful if you stop calling them “ketchup.”